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Below are the 25 most recent journal entries.

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  2011.10.09  22.04

I dont know what to do about you. you make me wanna rip my own head of cause I don't get any respect. maybe I'm the asshole. I don't know but if this keeps up. ill be alone again. and I just cant be alone it hurts too much to sleep in an empty bed. knowing you're around town having fun and being your self. while i throw a pity party for myself. I fucking hate this feeling and this broken hand.

Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.


  2011.01.03  22.14

Flipping through old photos Ive noticed I look more and more miserable. I looked happiest when I was with one person in particular, and shes no longer in my life... I wanna move to Thousand Oaks... I want that great feeling back I had last year


  2010.09.23  20.52

One thing ive noticed.

you never get the same respect back that you give.
so fuck them.


  2010.02.14  23.42
Beer talk

i talked with an acquaintance who is now a good friend about, pretty much, life in general.
She asked me about relationships and what not. I told her somethings i havent told anyone, because of the fact
that she doesnt have any ties with anything i said. She made me realize within five minutes of talking, exactly what i was doing. I've been running a muck in my love life and she threw in back together. It became clear who ive been trying to compare every girl too, much to my belief ive always thought i was comparing them to someone else. but it makes sense now. and i went for it. but i dont think it'll ever go anywhere to tell you the truth. which sucks. cause now ill be running in circles again.


  2010.02.09  16.51

that one kinda hurt


  2010.01.18  18.45

I was right. Made a complete fool out of myself. haha. perfect. lets get drunk my dude.

Mood: cheerful

  2010.01.14  22.31

bad feeling about this. maybe im just getting cold feet about it? but im still making a fool out of myself no matter which way you look at it

Mood: annoyed

  2010.01.12  21.33
(no subject)

for some reason when i'm actually happy in my life i feel like everyones mad at me.
I feel like youd rather see me miserable and hating my life, than actually seeing me
happy and smiling. Why cant you just fuckin be happy for me and get the fuck over it.
I dont know why you even care. Just because you cant hold a damn relationship for longer than two days means i cant have one too? she lives in fuckin california. when im with her im happy.
i dont think ive ever been more happy in my life. dont take this from me you selfish piece of shit.

Mood: annoyed

  2009.12.29  18.14

ive decided that you cant put too much faith in anyone.
everyones a piece of shit in their own ways.
some more than less.
Its funny how much no one really cares
and puts on a happy face and whisperers little lies into your head.
ha its fantastic.


  2009.12.28  22.57

I'm tired of fat people having tv shows about how its okay to be fat.
its not okay.
plus size clothing is not okay.
fat people shouldnt be applauded for having self esteem for being fat and saying "oh i like the way i am."
YOURE FAT and LAZY so stop acting like its okay! YOU HAVE PROBLEMS! you will eventually die an early age for it.
Every fat person should be pushed off the edge of the earth. Youre a disease that keeps spreading.


  2009.12.22  00.35

the way you move,
how you carry yourself. makes a big difference.
i dont care what your intentions are,
make everything worth while.
youre the best.
and i cant alphabet my way through it.


  2009.12.21  01.22

Fun weekend in hollywood.

its good to get away from the fake people for a bit.

Good friends, beer, vodka, against me, making music videos till 6am, getting stomped in the face while getting tackled by ome fat girl at a show who couldnt keep her balance, being walked out of that show by a hot bartender who sat and talked with me for 30 minutes, psychiatric death tour.
Couldnt have asked for a better weekend.


  2009.11.28  14.30
frank turner says it best

Well I started the night
with all my friends and I ended up alone, I
started out so happy now I'm hungover and down. I
stood on a street corner and I felt a little sick.
It was about then that I realized I was halfway
through the first day of the week.


  2009.11.24  22.45
jump off a bridge

certain songs make you remember people.
certain people make you remember certain things.
some people make you feel like youre the only thing that matters.
and you, my old friend, made me fall in love with you.
i just want you to see it despite the miles we have between us.


  2009.11.10  18.16
Yes ha

It's no big deal
It's not worth losing sleep
You over analyze
The simplest things
Loves what you take
But can never give
Loves what you hate
You'll never figure out what it's for
I couldn't love you anymore


  2009.11.08  23.15
we're all alcoholics

and we've only done the things we have because of it.
Our lives our surround upon the idea of drinking.
Most of the friends I have, dont hang out unless alcohol is involved.
It quite funny actually.

To our bad decisions.
Lets not have them happen again.

In short I hate my job because im under paid.
In short I hate someone for leading me on to believe something that wasnt there at all.
You fake piece of shit.
In short I will never trust anyone outside my group of friends ever again.
In short I will find someone that matters to me.
In short It probably wont be you.

In long we are all dying slow alcoholic deaths.


  2009.10.04  22.40
yes sir

slowly things are coming together. but they are.
jobs working out. lookingg for a second if anyone can help?

the new question is now...
2 bedroom, or 3?
i like the 2 idea. only 2 people worrying about rent instead of three.

hopefully thingss go to plan. nothing to get in the way


  2009.10.02  17.14
I cant stand feeling nothing

and its true. I dont get why.
i dont understand why nothing works out and i just dont care.
homeless again.
total ive been homeless of the year of 2009 for 6 months and 3 days. what a year.
Job possibly getting a raise of 16/hr and the sous chef position. which would be awesomeeee.

moving in with shelby and 2 other friends in the next few months hopefully.
right now im breaking into my old house and sleeping in my room cause i have nno where to go.

lifes full of wondrous joy right??

heather left me. perfect.
the other girl is 99% likely to be back with her boyfriend also perfect.

nico's score = 0
everything and everyone else's score = 2

just forget it.

a beer, some good music, and friends does your mind some good.

Mood: calm

  2009.07.18  01.19

the president is not the president.
just a scapegoat to blame everything the governmant does wrong on.

Mood: relaxed

  2009.07.02  21.55

do i keep having dreams about vampires and zombies taking over the world? what the hell


  2009.06.01  06.01

you and me.
probably wont mix.
i dont know if its my age or the fact i lost my job.
but im not gonna stick around to find out.
i feel like im gonna stop something that could be amazing.
but i could careless.

theres been a person that i didnt know id miss till they left.
and its sad to say but ive missed my biggest opportunity yet.

come home.


  2009.05.28  03.34

making a whiskey sour at 3:30am might constitute a problem....
craving one is probably worse.


  2009.05.27  04.07

i realized a lot.
and it makes me sick.
to love unconditionally.
to hate without reason.
where am i?
where am i going?
i dropped.
to that place where id always go.
im leaving,
so good bye..

Mood: blank

  2009.05.12  18.24
shitty life in vegas

Waking up in an unknown place with a piece of glass lodged in your foot.
Wiping the dry blood from your nose and face.
Can't walk straight cause the glass is poking a bone.
Searching the house for your hat and shirt.
Cigarettes are gone.
Taking 10 minutes to collect yourself.
Then getting a phone call saying brad was found outside of the Caesars Palace last night.

RIP Brad.

fuck vegas

Mood: sad

  2009.04.29  00.31

i know i treated you like crap.
and im sorry.


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